Thursday, December 18, 2008


I have been playing a game called Travian for about 9 or so months. On my main server -or game board- I have been the leader for the alliance /that used to be/ called ~KiWi~ since May of 2008. I was the Co-Founder of it; Wigghammer being the other half.

Last Thursday, all of our hard damn work, all our backbreaking struggling against enemies, all our time, the whole alliance, is gone. I feel so betrayed...

We had a confederation with with another alliance called BBB, lead by Connie. They had said for months that "we are one. We are merged". I never believed them, I always thought that it was a sick joke or that Wigg never told them the truth. Wigg had told me that one day we weren't merged, the next that we were. He was confused at it himself.

But I get on that dreadful Thursday and find that my alliance is gone. No longer KiWi. Nope, its United now, with the main branch United. No more does my voice matter, no more do I even exist as a leader. Now I am nothing to them but a nuisance.

I decided that I would leave it to crumble from the inside out and watch it fall and burn. See, Connie's alliance was falling apart itself due to poor leadership and member frustration. BBB was a combination of APRON and KB; KB was lead by Kross, who ruined that alliance before the merge. So when these alliances merged -very well actually, due mainly because of a player named Ramoth- they wanted KiWi as well and we just didn't want to commit to it.

Tid Bit -- Kross had an accident of some sort and didn't get on for a long time. As the alliance started to fall, his account became yellow (inactive for 2 days), turning to red (bad, inactive for 3 or 4 days) then finally turning gray (very bad, inactive for a week+). By that time, KB was burning what was left of itself. Many great players fled the alliance for stronger ones, including the top ranking alliances DH (rank 3) and STORM (rank 2). Connie took the rest of KB in.

So now here I am; my original account given to a friend, my former alliance mates forsaken to that pit -that disgusting joke of an alliance- and I am now dueling with a friend in a higher, better alliance. I did try to save that alliance, but when no one listens to you and other's trust in you is shot, its best to just leave them to themselves. So to you Connie, who screwed me over royally then proceeded to rub it in, be glad that the person I am dueling with doens't want to attack you, for if I had it my way, you would be long gone by now. To you Wigghammer, the guy I always trusted and respected, I wish the best for you. To you Natas, who went behind my back and ruined KiWi and doomed United, you did what you were told to do and what you thought was right for the alliance. I don't blame you for any of this and I have no hard feelings against you. I am only sorry that you have to go through this. To Txnoy, Tritum, Leah, Mean Squirrel, and all my children, I am sorry I am not there for you anymore. I truly am sorry that this all happened behind your backs, I am sorry that you never knew about the so called "merge", I am so sorry that you have been cursed, doomed to be DH's punching bag... I hate it that you are being punished for something you were told to do. I hate it that you are being punish for something that isn't your fault...

Only a mother can truly grieve the loss of her dearest children... Now I can only mourn from a distance... :'[

And Connie, this is your fault. It is all your fault. Everything. You should feel horrible about this, yet you sit there spreading lies and make it worse for everyone else, digging the hole deeper for yourself and others. I can't believe you!! You tell me that I should "learn to be a good leader" and that you would "be willing to teach you" when I am the one who had connections to every top alliance in the whole of server 2! When I build an alliance from scratch and kept it going well, despite you! When I kept my alliance out of danger for 7 months! When I was sometimes a better diplomat then Wigghammer! You tell people that I abused my power as a leader. Bull crap!!!! I took ONE power from the other leaders because I was afraid they would mess up what me and Wigg had done. WELL LOOK! ITS RUINED NOW! Despite everything I did, everything I ever worked for is RUINED! It gets under my skin what you did and what you say to me. But I know my mother was proud of what I had accomplished. She bragged about me every day to her alliance. I know that the higher alliances where impressed with what KiWi did in its time. And now you, Connie, will be lucky to ever hear something nice come from me to you. You will be lucky if you ever hear anything from me ever again. I hope you delete first.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Insight To A Teen's Secret Life - back story

Part 1...

Kire and Zorra once went out many months ago, I believe in April of 2008. They had a wonderful relationship, one that was very romantic and involved. (He was and still is a virgin. He would have died if he had touched her that way.) However, Kire made a bad decision and skipped his 6th period exit exams to be with her. His parents found out and became livid. Needless to say, he was grounded for the rest of the summer. They grew apart during the summer and when school started again, the relationship was different. They weren't as romantic as before.

Zorra found out that Kire's parents wanted him to go to the Navy and that he was seriously considering it himself. She freaked out -she has very, very bad separation anxiety- and she cut him lose. He spiraled downward to a sever depression afterwards, becoming horribly emo. After about two months separation, he had finally guilt her back into his arms by being around her and whining. He even skipped some classes to see her. His parents found out... Their relationship lasted only a few weeks when he finally dumped her, saying "it didn't feel right anymore". He continued into his depression while his family hated him.

Now, he is being extremely stupid and decided that some of this Red Life should meet the air so it wouldn't be in pain anymore. I finally got him to stop that. He doesn't listen to anyone, and when he does, he twists the words to fit what he believes. Zorra wrote him a letter saying that she didn't like him that way anymore but that she still cared about him. He took that to mean that she hated him and totally disregarded the caring part entirely. He also found out that Zorra like another guy (who didn't like her back that way.. however he thinks its ok to mess with her. I am hoping to meet him in a dark ally once.) and when to get the guy with her. It failed miserably. Now he is trying to completely avoid her at all costs. (Its not working)

Part 2...

My ex's are annoying to the point that I am thinking about changing my number. They are slut bags and I can't believe I ever went out with them.

One guy, named Justin, is a meta whore. He has girls all over the US and some in Canada. He has a girlfriend who is in jail now and he loves to tell me that he loves her and in the same breath tells me that he misses me and still loves me. Whatever. I don't want your disease ridden, emo, delusions arse. I am taken with a guy I like. /tongue/

The guy dumped me because he still liked his ex from 2 years back and wanted to ask her out. Well I found out later that she told him heck no. So he tried to crawl back to me, which I promptly booted him. He can go.... never mind.

At any rate, the people in my life are stupid. I really wish they would stop causing trouble. Ugh. It makes me wonder why people can't see how to get out of their mistakes when its so easy to see... Oh well.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

The Character Script to a Insight To A Teen's Hidden Life

Well now, lets introduce you to all the players to this tragic but entertaining drama. These are the main people in the story. Other smaller characters exist, but for the sake of my hand, these are the ones that matter.

[Main Characters - Good]

Zorra - My love and Absolute Master whom is a "puppy". She is my best friend and I care about her very much. We have a "love triangle" where she owns me, I own Sabelli, and Sabelli owns Zorra. We play in the Bushes every night, and no guys are allowed. hehe.

Kire - Zorra's ex-boyfriend. He is completely obsessed with her and cannot get over her. She "rules [his] thoughts, actions, heart, and dreams." He also likes Mousie.

Kross - Kire's best friend and an annoying person who I swear is insane. He keeps Kire out off most of his worst ideas, but encourages others less dangerous but still distasteful...

Ansien - A good friend of mine and the less weird of the group. He is bi, leaning more to guys (he has a boyfriend. Lets call him Demetri.) then girls. Likes plays, musicals, plays the harp, etc.

Taierie - My Lover. He is the most wondrous, glorious guy I ever met in my whole life. I adore him greatly. The only drawback is that he lives on the East Coast...

[Smaller Characters]

Sabelli - A good friend who used to have art class with me. Very emo and beautiful. (boyfriend is named Selyf. Also emo and smoking hot!)

Belismea - A girl who really needs to let a guy go. He is obviously bad for her, but she keeps coming back to him.

Remina - She has the same problem as Belismea. Same guy too. Same problem.

Rosilen - A friend of mine who is in a lot of stuff. She recently quit doing drugs and is in a wonderful relationship with a great guy.

Dreimei - Annoying girl who has the voice of a dying cat being burned. She has a fiancee who adores me, even asked me out once.

Mousie - cute Mexican girl who is a little out of it all the time. Kire asked her out over myspace then turns around and tells me that he still loves his ex.


Mrs. N - Radical Republican. Brilliant teacher who loves the word "homework". Advanced Placement (AP) English.

Coach H - Stupid PE teacher. Can't make a well trained dog do anything. Female. Volleyball coach.
Coach S - Best coach ever! He is so involved with the kids that he basically has everyone's trust. Health coach. Male.

Mr. V - Another great guy. He is ok, and he has his moments, but I would NOT want to have a disaster near him. He freaks out. He lets me do anything I want as long as I do my work. AP World History. Die hard Christan.

Mrs. P - Well meaning. Yet another teacher who can't make a well trained dog do anything. She also lets me do what I want if my work gets done. Pre AP Algebra. Female.

Mrs. B - Brilliant! I love this teacher. She is a Liberal in every sense. Some of the kids don't like her teaching style, but I like it. She treats us like her children since she doesn't have her own. AP US History.

Mr. A - Quarky guy, english is not his first languge but most of the time you can't tell. He likes to mess with his students. He has an ability to blend in with the other kids in the class if he sits down. Spanish II

Mr. L - I don't like this teacher. He sucks monkey balls, majorly. So does his teaching style. He hates explaining things. Hates it with a passion. He wants us to "figure it out on our own". Ugh. AP Physics.

So many people. Though this is but a fraction of the script, it gives you a small insight. XD

Dedicated to Those Who Kept Me Afloat

I dedicate this to my mother who firstly gave birth to me, and secondly kept me going through my roughest, darkest times. She was there when the kids picked on me relentlessly. She was there when he left us for the first time. She was there when I had no friends, no one else to turn to. She was there when that beyouch and her sons tormented my family. She was there when he left for the last time...

If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be the person I am now. I wouldn't be able to let things roll off my shoulders so quickly. I wouldn't be a forgiving person. I shudder at the thought of what I could -would- have became.

So, thank you mom for being there.